


You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart

by AllOfTheChaos



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figure, Feels, Gen, Guilt, Jefferon is a dick, Post Character Death, Post Philip's death, Protective Washington, alexander needs a Hug, but not that big, mention's of Eliza, mentions of Philip - Freeform, post Stay Alive Reprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 10:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10436040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllOfTheChaos/pseuds/AllOfTheChaos
Summary: Jefferson's day started out perfectly although it was a bit dull. So he decides to go bother his favorite plaything.But he is met with a side of Hamilton he's never seen before.(I suck at summaries, sorry. Basically how Alexander handles Philip's death. )





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a another small idea that wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> I kept asking myself: Well how would Hamilton handle his son's death in the beginning ?  
> Bury himself in his work of course! No matter how bad of an idea that is.
> 
> Pardon any mistakes i may have.  
> And please tell me if i have like really really bad ones. :P

Jefferson's day started like any other: _Absolutely perfect._

  
He had woken up, had some delicious breakfast, put on his best outfit and went to work. He had a few meetings; talked with a few people and by the time it was 4 o'clock he realized he had done all of his work. He had nothing to do now.

Jefferson was bored, which to anyone who knew him, meant nothing good. A bored Jefferson was a dangerous and annoying Jefferson.

He would come and harass you with information you had no idea how he got his hands on. He would gloat and put you down just for the fun of it. Worst case scenario he would blackmail you into doing something for him.

You couldn't do anything to stop him, really. You just had to stay away from his path and hope he didn't find you. And Jefferson knew that well.

That's why when he let out a dramatic sigh and announced that he was bored, a smile pulled on his lips when the people around his stiffened.

All the eyes in the room turned to him, waiting to see who would be the next victim.

Jefferson ran a hand over his beard before asking loudly. “Where is Hamilton?”

“In his office, sir!” His secretary piped up quickly and when Jefferson got up he saw the entire room give a sigh of relief. He chuckled as he exited the room.

Hamilton was his favorite plaything. How easily he got mad, how he never backed out of an argument even when he _knew_ he was wrong.

 _It was delightful!_ Like a cat playing with an overly confident mouse.

When he reached Hamilton's office he didn't even bother to knock. He just strode in cane in hand and smirk on his face.

Hamilton had his back to Jefferson and was looking out of the window.

“Well I must say Hamilton. I am shocked that you are not bend over your desk again. Don't you have some other document you want to force us to sign?”

He heard Hamilton sigh from his spot and shake his head. “Not now Jefferson.”

Jefferson raised a brow at Hamilton's tone. It didn't sound like he was up for a verbal sparring session with him.

 _Well too bad,_ Thomas thought. _I'm bored!_

He took a few steps closer twirling his cane.

“What? Trouble at home? Don't tell me you were stupid enough to try and explain yourself to your wife again...”

“Jefferson...” Hamilton murmured, his tone low.

“...I mean give the poor woman a break! Don't you think you've done enough?”

“I need…some quiet.” Alexander said in a defeated tone, head pressing against the window.

Jefferson’s brow frowned in annoyance. _What was with Hamilton today?_

“Is that how you handle your issues now? Are you actually going keep that big mouth of yours shut for ones and avoid your problems?”

“Jefferson.” There was a little edge in Hamilton’s voice and Thomas smiled, glad to have found the right strings to pull.

“You better run to that boy of yours and tell him that. He is so very much like you now. Teaching him some manners might just save his life.”

The next thing he knew, Jefferson was being slammed against the wall and lifted off his feet.

When he looked down his breath hitched.

Hamilton’s eyes were bloodshot; his face was pale and twisted with fury. Not only that but his expression….he hadn’t seen that expression on someone’s face in _a long time_. Desperation mixed with fury, mixed with sorrow and loss, guilt coating it all and twisting his face into something painful looking.

Only people how were broken inside had that look on their faces.

“How FUCKING DARE YOU!” He screamed. Jefferson tried to pry Hamilton’s hands off but his grip just tightened.

“H-Hamilton…” Thomas gasped and Alex slammed his head against the wall making Jefferson groaned.

“You fucking southern piece of shit!” Alexander growled, slamming him against the wall again.

Okay, okay Jefferson was really starting to get worried now. Fear was creeping into his body and he resisted the urge to kick his legs around. He had never seen Hamilton like this! He looked like he was going to kill him!

“Alexander!” Washington’s voice boomed across the room and Jefferson’s eye snapped in his direction.

He was standing by the door, a look of shock and fear on his face.

“Alexander.” He tried again but Hamilton didn’t budge. He had bowed his head, so Jefferson couldn’t see his eyes anymore but his grip was just as hard.

“Hamilton!” Washington yelled in his most commanding voice. “Put him down right now! That’s an order!”

And it was like something snapped inside Alexander and his hands dropped. Jefferson stumbled almost falling to his knees but managed to hold on to the wall.

Hamilton turned his head slowly towards Washington and Thomas could see tears filling his eyes.

“S-sir.” His voice shook.

“Alexander…son.” Washington reached out and put a hand on the back of Alex’s neck before pulling him into his arms.

Jefferson watched in shock as Hamilton… _just broke_. Agonizing sobs ripped through throat as he grabbed on to Washington’s shirt.

“OH God I killed him! I killed him! It’s my fault! It’s my fault! Oh my god, what have I done?!” Hamilton sobbed his whole body shaking.

Washington was running a hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.

“Shhh, shhh, no you didn’t. You didn’t. This is not your fault.”

Jefferson had no idea what to do. His brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening right now. But Hamilton was… _god what had happened to him?_ He could barely understand what his was saying from the roughness of his voice.

“What are you doing here, boy? You shouldn’t have come here today.” Washington muttered and Hamilton just shook his head.

That’s when Jefferson felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped a little.

It was Madison, with a worried look on his face. When Thomas looked behind Madison he saw that there was a small group of people gathered in front of the door.

“What are you doing?” Madison hissed.

“What is happening?” Jefferson asked and his friend gave him a bewildered look.

“Where have you been all day?”

“Um…here?” Jefferson looked at Madison with a raised brow.

“Didn’t you hear? Hamilton’s son was gunned down in a duel yesterday, because of him!”

Thomas’s eyes snapped to Hamilton.

His son was killed. And he had just…

“Oh my god…I didn’t…I didn’t know. Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He ran a hand through is hair, painful guilt setting inside his throat.

_He didn’t mean to! He wasn’t that cruel!_

He wouldn’t wish this to his greatest enemy. Losing a child was like losing a piece of yourself.

“Everyone knows, Thomas.” Madison whispered.

Jefferson’s eyes went back to Hamilton and Washington’s cold gaze met him. He stopped breathing. Washington has never looked at him so cruelly.

Still holding Alexander in his arms like a small child Washington’s sharp voice filled the room.

“Everybody. Out. Now!”

Within seconds the small crowd at the door disappeared. Madison grabbed Jefferson by the hand and started pulling him away.

“…Wait…” Jefferson stammered stumbling.

He wanted to say… _something!_ He didn’t know what. He wanted to apologize for what he said and he wanted to give his condolences.

Washington’s eyes turned to him again. “Leave, both of you.”

“But…” Jefferson tried again but his friend stopped him.

“Not now Thomas.”

They both walked away slowly, Hamilton’s muffled sobs filling their ears.

“ _My Eliza_ , my Eliza is gone too! She’s empty. _She’s dead inside_. Oh my poor Eliza! I’ve killed her too! I’ve killed them both!” He cried and Jefferson saw his knees buckle but Washington had a tight grip on him and held him up.

“Shh, my boy, shhh. You didn’t do any of that.”

“What am I to do now? I…oh my god…I don’t know what to do!” Alexander trembled, his nails digging into the Washington’s shirt.

“You keep going. Do you hear me, son? You keep going.”

Washington’s fingers ran gently through Hamilton’s hair, his body rocking slowly from side to side.

And in that moment Jefferson understood why Washington trusted Hamilton so much.

_What father wouldn’t trust their son?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a little comment or a kudos or Both! Haha... yeah. I'd really make my day!!! ^^


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